Sometimes I'm just baffled. As a person who is childfree-by-choice, I've heard all the arguments for why I should change my mind and how much of a blessing children are, etc., etc. I get it, you disagree. Fine. Let's agree to disagree and call it a day. But why, oh why, must you turn on your own?????
I have a friend who is choosing to have one, just one, child. I applaud her decision. Apparently, it's almost as unpopular as having no kids at all.
We met for lunch last week and she'd mentioned several times that she and her husband have decided their son will be their one and only child. (For the record, he's almost four and is a doll anytime we get together, much unlike many of the other ankle-biters I have the luxury of spending time with - I don't know that I've met a more well-behaved child and I am continually impressed with his intelligence, manners, affection, and imagination.) It was clear that this was a pretty big issue for her at the moment, so I asked more about it. She shared with me several of the factors that have resulted in this decision, and it really boils down to doing what's best for their family. Good for them!
It would seem that she's been receiving a bit of pressure from her friends to have another. She, like me, doesn't mind the "will you...?" questions, but is irritated by the "when will you...?" questions, which clearly imply an expectation, and folks are asking when she'll have another. There's been attempts to convince her, guilt her, shame her...everything I've experienced, she's experiencing.
I just don't get it. This woman is one of you - she's birthed a child and is now identified as "[INSERT SON'S NAME HERE]'s Mom". Why is that not good enough??? Does having a second child make you twice the woman you once were??? Are you kidding me?
It's been interesting seeing this topic from her perspective. I had no idea that the breeding issue is laid out like a bulls-eye target, with concentric circles to exclude people in degrees. Once again, I'm saddened and disappointed.....
I have a friend who is choosing to have one, just one, child. I applaud her decision. Apparently, it's almost as unpopular as having no kids at all.
We met for lunch last week and she'd mentioned several times that she and her husband have decided their son will be their one and only child. (For the record, he's almost four and is a doll anytime we get together, much unlike many of the other ankle-biters I have the luxury of spending time with - I don't know that I've met a more well-behaved child and I am continually impressed with his intelligence, manners, affection, and imagination.) It was clear that this was a pretty big issue for her at the moment, so I asked more about it. She shared with me several of the factors that have resulted in this decision, and it really boils down to doing what's best for their family. Good for them!
It would seem that she's been receiving a bit of pressure from her friends to have another. She, like me, doesn't mind the "will you...?" questions, but is irritated by the "when will you...?" questions, which clearly imply an expectation, and folks are asking when she'll have another. There's been attempts to convince her, guilt her, shame her...everything I've experienced, she's experiencing.
I just don't get it. This woman is one of you - she's birthed a child and is now identified as "[INSERT SON'S NAME HERE]'s Mom". Why is that not good enough??? Does having a second child make you twice the woman you once were??? Are you kidding me?
It's been interesting seeing this topic from her perspective. I had no idea that the breeding issue is laid out like a bulls-eye target, with concentric circles to exclude people in degrees. Once again, I'm saddened and disappointed.....
